Monthly Archives: August 2008

If Sarah Palin Lied, We Must Revolt

I, like many of you, have seen the rumors on the internet about Sarah Palin faking a pregnancy to cover for her 16-year-old daughter. The facts are that Bristol Palin left school for 4-5 months last winter with “mono” while her mother announced her own pregnancy at 7 months, to the shock of everyone who worked with her on a daily basis, who “had no idea she was pregnant”. Coincidence? It better be.

This sounds like a conspiracy theory, mostly because it’s unthinkable that John McCain could have missed this in the vetting process. But I looked at the photos, and Bristol gained a lot of weight last winter for a girl with “mono”. Then I watched those photos magically disappear. I watched some videos, then watched those videos get scrubbed from their host sites. I cringed as I read the account of Sarah flying from Texas to Alaska after her water broke with a premature baby who they already knew had Downs Syndrome. That would be irresponsible on its own, but in light of this? Why, if there is no story here, would Vogue take her photo shoot (featuring a trim and toned Palin, six months “pregnant”) off their website? That felt remarkably similar to the disappearance of Rielle Hunter’s campaign videos last fall.

Obviously, if true, this represents political hari kari on many levels. Sarah Palin believes that all birth control should be verboten, even among married couples. For her to give the rest of America a window on how that kind of policy actually plays out in practice…well, you do the math. But this is about more than that. This is about a woman making a conscious decision–if this is true–to risk shaming her daughter on a national level for her own political gain. The embarrassment that Bristol Palin will be forced to endure if her mother lied to her constituents and the country about being the mother of young Trig will be life shattering. Sarah Palin had a choice to accept that VP nod. If she had politely said no, her daughter’s personal struggle would not have been broadcast to the world. To knowingly walk one’s family off a cliff is a lapse of judgment that would make John Edwards throw up in his mouth.

I don’t want this story to be true. But somebody needs to find out immediately if it is. And I mean before Wednesday. If it is false, I will thank God and apologize for ever doubting the integrity and honesty of Alaska’s Governor. But if it happened, and this woman lied to John McCain about it, we need to send her back to Alaska IMMEDIATELY.  McCain can still correct this mistake. He can claim he was misled (which of course he was) and America will give him a do-over. We are a forgiving people. Try us.

If we confirm Sarah Palin as our Vice Presidential Candidate on Wednesday and someone finds a forged birth certificate, or a student at poor Bristol’s high school with an iPhone, or a doctor who wants to blow the whistle on the whole thing…Armaggeddon, people. There are laws that will have been broken. Christ, the woman could go to prison just for lying to the IRS about the dependency status of the child. Fellow conservatives, ASK THE QUESTION. Get her on the record. Plaster that birth certificate all over the evening news just to end it. This election is too important to be lost for this. The fate of our country hangs in the balance.

I wasn’t thrilled with the Palin choice, but I trust John McCain. If he says this is the right way to go, I’m still with him. But if there’s something under this rock and we look the other way, we risk disaster.

So let’s be impolite. Before it’s too late.



Filed under August 2008

In Panic, McCain Grabs Closest Uterus

I am a proud Republican. I have no desire to question the wise elders of my party. And don’t get me wrong. I love white women. Love them. But this is not what I signed up for. We had a rock solid argument against Barack Obama. He wasn’t ready to lead. He had only been in the Senate 3 years. He had no discernible foreign policy experience. These were valid points. And today we threw them all out the window for some hot white Christian ass. (Okay, it does sound like a good decision when you put it like that.)

I’m not going to throw stones from my glass house. I’ve made mistakes in my life, on more than one occasion involving hot white Christian ass. But this is ridiculous. They are laughing at us. They are calling this campaign a joke. How, Mr. McCain, in all your infinite wisdom and experience, could you hang your supporters out to dry like this?

To be fair, I deeply respect that Ms. Palin played women’s basketball. It’s a truly exciting sport and I am consistently shocked by how easy it is to get tickets. But that’s where my respect ends. Sarah Palin is not the most qualified Republican available. She’s not even the most qualified woman available to Republicans. She is just a woman, which I guess is all John McCain needed. Way to demonstrate judgement, Capn’. This election was just forfeited as easily as a kids soccer game, and we didn’t even get orange slices.

Ann Coulter, if you’re reading this, track down Ms. Palin and school her pygmalion-style. Make her paint the fence and wax cars. Hop in her backpack and train the bitch like Yoda.

Help us, Ann. You are our only hope.


Filed under August 2008

Brothers, We Are Not Alone

Big ups to the National Black Republican Association for courageously erecting more than 50 Martin Luther King Was A Republican billboards in Denver. This must have cost a fortune, so please head over to their website ( and make a donation.

As for the commenter who snidely suggested that I am the only black Republican in America, consider yourself served.


Filed under August 2008

John Edwards: The Michael Phelps of Douchebags

As we head into the DNC, I’d like to take a brief moment to talk about a man we won’t be hearing much from in the coming days. I won’t recount the sordid details of his story–anyone savvy enough to find this blog is familiar with the amoral fantasia this man has been living in. But I think it’s worth pointing out that he has changed the game in unexpected ways. For the first time in ages, we have a bi-partisan issue that we can all agree on: John Edwards is the Michael Phelps of Douchebags.

I think it’s fair to say we’ve been living in a Golden Age of Douchebaggery. Bill Clinton getting a BJ in the Oval Office (sloppy, but understandable–Lewinsky did have dat ass). Larry Craig trolling for cock in an airport bathroom (embarrassing, but forgivable–the man loves cock, sue him.) But this guy has eight gold medals around his neck, and they’re getting heavier by the minute.

As Mr. Edwards watches his pledged delegates slip in through the back door of the Pepsi Center this week with paper bags securely over their heads, I hope he fully understands the damage he has done to his party. Up until early August, it was a valid argument to suggest that Republicans were too burdened with sex scandals to have any moral ground to stand on. When Ted Haggard lied through his teeth about gobbling dick for meth, I didn’t think it was possible for conservatives to ever recover their pole position on family values. But Edwards has proved that Democrats are every bit as capable of cheating on their sick wives as Republicans. He even made it look easy.

For those who would accuse me of going against my own call to elevate the discourse here, know that I bring this up in the spirit of unity. We’re even now. It’s official: Liberals are every bit as capable of mind-blowing douchebaggery as Conservatives. This has even eclipsed the Republican in Florida who claimed he was “hiding” in that rest stop bathroom because there were black folks around. I didn’t think it was possible, but John Edwards has returned balance to the force.

In light of this, I’d like to ask that both sides check their moral high ground at the door and focus on the issues for the duration. This can be a cathartic moment. A great equalizer. So let us all join hands, raise our eyes to the heavens and say it together, as One America: John Edwards is the Michael Phelps of Douchebags.

Then let’s go have a real election.

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Oh shit.

Saddle up, conservatives. Make no mistake, this is a very tough ticket to beat. We must be vigilant. We must be focused. But most importantly, we must be right. We can’t change the subject and hope America will lean our way. We can’t put gay marriage on the ballot in all the swing states and hope to tip the scales. We have to make the better argument or we will lose. We have to show that the Republican party is the party of hope and change. Or we will lose this election. And we will lose bad.


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Republicans Un-Christian?

I was 37 years old when I was introduced to Jesus Christ. I knew he was there all along, but it took a divorce and a great many moral errors before I began a personal relationship with Him. I don’t wish to preach here, but I want to preface this post by saying that I hold Christ’s teachings very close to my heart and try my best to follow them.

A few weeks ago, a friend from church sent me a clip that, rather aggressively, accused Republicans of being Un-Christian in their acts on this earth. The video was not subtle. It used the infamous “God Warrior” from Trading Spouses to make its point, which I found ridiculous and unfair. But it planted a seed in me that has been growing. It has driven me to return to my Bible and look for God’s true intention in its passages. And as a result, I’ve begun to ask questions about how my own beliefs are translated into works on this earth.

I am posting this video not because I agree with its tactics, but because it presents a contrast of words and images that moved me. Some of you will hate it. Some of you will probably see it as a vindication of your liberal point of view. Either way, I think it can start a dialogue among those who frequent this blog on a common but important topic: What would Jesus do?


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We Are Better Than This

Today I read a comment here about Barack Obama that didn’t sit right:

Barack had trouble answering the questions, not because he was “thoughful”, but he couldn’t remember which position he had stated last–a common problem with liars.

Look, Barack Obama may be the wrong choice for our country right now, but he is not a liar. He is an honest man who believes passionately in the wrong things. If we go out making unsubstantiated, vitriolic arguments like that, we will be seen as churlish ideologues, not intelligent conservatives. Thinking people won’t respect us, and we will lose.

In all candor, I have been somewhat shocked by the grotesque accusations made by some of my fellow Republicans on this site over the past week. If we are going to win this election, we need to win by convincing a majority of Americans that our way of running government (or shrinking government) will improve their lives. Though I disagree with Mr. Obama on many issues, I respect his right to believe what he believes. He is no more a “liar” than our candidate. Though it pains me to admit it, I’ve seen a lot of thoughtful and reasoned arguments coming from the left in these threads. I disagree with them, but they make the corresponding comments from the right seem downright ignorant and, even worse, intellectually dishonest. Brothers, we owe ourselves more than this.

This experience has also shown me that some of my own statements have been a bit over the top–I am not an innocent here. So I apologize. And in the spirit of this post, I have removed some of the angrier thoughts from my own description of what I’d like this blog to be. This is a place for unheard voices to be sounded and reasoned arguments to be made. If that doesn’t interest you, or you are not capable of it, there are plenty of sites on the web where you will be welcomed.

I’m looking in the mirror, brothers, and I don’t like everything I see. That may be a more a personal journey than a public one, but my father taught me to be an honest man at all costs, and I plan to follow his advice. So let’s tone it down, listen to each other, and make our cases on the merits. It’s how Dr. King, Republican, would have wanted it.



Filed under August 2008